A Completely New Way

memorial

If there is a single force that generates inequality, violence and war throughout the world, and therefore this day of memorial, I vote for the self-image we create gazing up for assurance and approval as infants. At this early stage of development what emerges from that glance is not a fixed image, rather feelings of acceptance, of care, welcoming, understanding, empathy, encouragement or their opposites; rejection, anger, frustration, neglect and the various forms of abuse.

Over time the repetition of these feelings coalesce, merge, form predictable patterns and these in turn create the scaffolding upon which our social identity is formed. Belonging means survival. Rejection could mean death. So we began to judge our worth and value based on the emotional reactions we experience in the mirror of relationship.

Themes: 
culture
freedom
intelligence
self image
violence

Thanks, But for What?

thanks 2011

I must be a psycho or suffer from multiple personality disorder. Part of me gazes out, soaking in the world and can’t find anything to be thankful for. Not one thing. The other part, gentle as a lam, could walk hand in hand with St. Francis of Assisi through a forests of wild beast turned peaceful by the simple fact that we were not acting like the wacked out human beings that we are. We are the mad species and every creature, tree and blade of grass in the garden knows it. That’s why we were tossed out long ago.

Indeed, each of us is brimming with boundless innate goodness. And every one of us is carrying around a brain chock full of nonsense, calling ourselves Democrats, Republicans, all the ideologies, all the religions, nationalities, casts, races and the self-centered money-power-politics this collective madness spawns.

Our hypocrisy is so vast, so blatant. We teach our little children about the first Thanks Giving when the nice Indians helped the Pilgrims. We don’t tell them that Columbus boiled their grandparents in oil or that we, white God serving men and women, used biological warfare (smallpox) to steal these first nation people’s land and murder off their culture. We are a greedy, selfish, self-righteous lot and proud of it.

Themes: 
culture
intelligence

Over Protective Parenting

After viewing our interview with Jean Liedloff a parent said, ‘Jean talks about the effects of over protective parenting. I am so guilty of this. My son is much more capable when he is on his own than when he knows I am looking. I am wondering how I could undo this?

Great question, join the club.

As Jean pointed out in the swimming pool example, when the child does not know the parent was looking, the child demonstrated their true capacity. When the child feels a parent is watching – they express the adult’s helpless expectations. And this pattern is established very early. It becomes a reflex.

The guiding principal is to ‘assume competence’ from the beginning. Then the child’s innate capacity and the adult’s expectation are in sync instead of being in conflict. Imaging what this means lifelong!

Themes: 
bonding
childhood
freedom
intelligence
parenting
praise/rewards

Appreciation

Appreciation is a way of life, much more than it is a holiday. Even the capacity and experience of appreciation is a profound gift. I’m sure trees and flowers in their way appreciate sun and rain. Each species shares its special reality. The experience of being human is truly one of the rarest in the living universe – and if we appreciated that, our unity and diversity each day, what a wonderful world it would be.

Themes: 
intelligence
self image
violence

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