The intelligence of the heart acts for wholeness of the individual. It moves for wellbeing, which is another word for nurturing. Intellect in the head is abstract, predicting and controlling, looking for novelty, creativity. The bond begins in the heart. If that fails, the head compensates with ideas, a very poor substitute for nurtured wellness. The infant bonded and nurtured with the mother is automatically bonded to their own heart as the fifth brain in the system. Being related to my own heart I can automatically, below the level of awareness bond with others, all of nature. Not bonded to my own heart every relationship is threating, at risk, lifelong.

The heart is the issue that has to be brought in.  You can’t leave the heart out otherwise all we’re doing is hashing things over in our head.  Now the heart works for one thing and that is the wholeness of the organism or the individual. That’s the hearts job.  That’s what real intelligence is.  It moves for well-being.  Now intellect up in our heads doesn’t necessarily move for well-being.  Who cares about well-being?  Let’s go for novelty, invention, creativity, expression, etc., etc.  That’s what the human spark plug in our head is all about.

But the heart moves for well-being and well-being is another world for nurturing.  And the heart and the brain, if they are nurtured from the beginning, that bond between a much more universal aspect which is in the heart and the individual aspect of the brain, you have a perfect relationship.  That is, you have a bond with the center of your own being which is portable.  You take it with you.  It’s always there.  And with that bond of the heart always there you’re automatically in appropriate relationship with anything in your environment.  The infant bonded with the mother is inevitably, and nurtured of course, that means bonded, you can’t have one without the other, the infant bonded to the mother is automatically being bonded to their own heart as that fifth brain in the system.  And bonded to the mother, the heart/brain interaction, that reciprocal growth between the two of them is unbroken.  Then that individual is automatically in bonding with everyone it comes across.  It’s below the level of awareness.  It’s not even conscious.  It’s just simply the acceptance of the other regardless of the nature of the other in any kind of a situation.  Then we get the male/female interaction, it’s just the highest point of that, but it’s the same thing.  Being related to my heart I can automatically relate to the female without all of the inculturated kind of barriers to this.

Most of our relationships with another are business deals.  In effect I will give you this if I get this other in return.  So we’re looking at other relationships always as simply a means of trying to fill our own needs from within. But if one is bonded with the heart then you find that relationship being fed by any situation you come across.   You environment itself furnishes your needs.  Your relationship with others is indiscriminate.  You can’t relate to one and not relate to the other if you’re related to your heart, primarily.  

Now, in the breaking of the bond with the mother from the beginning, neither men nor women have an appropriate and functional relationship with their own heart.  As a result they’re totally dependent on the relationship with the other to try to make up for what they’re not getting from within and it can’t happen.  You have two bankrupt firms trying to establish some solvency and it just never comes about.  Whereas if either one of them are bonded with the heart first, then that bond is possible to extend to the other.

And the neat trick there is, there’s a certain universality to the heart, quite different from the unique individuality of the brain.  And in bonded with your heart there is a level at which you’re automatically in bond with the heart of the person, not on an intellectual personal level, but on the more basic fundamental universal level.  And with that as your foundation of relationship it’s much easier to form a more intimate type of relationship on a person-to-person basis.  But without that on least one of the parties, again they are two bankrupt firms trying to establish some solvency.