A Brief Very Incomplete History of Parenting

playful parenting

Male and female roles in pre-agricultural societies were egalitarian. God was nature. Assumed male superiority with its implicit violence against women and children emerged with monotheism, the old-testament, a single male-dominate King laying down the law. Can you believe we still believe this fairy tale?

Down through the ages children were livestock, bred as a buffer for survival. Abuses of all kinds were harsh and systemic. Women nurtured when they could and men disciplined. The extended family was communal. Children more or less belonged to the tribe. Personal identity was not individual rather communal. One was a Cooper, a barrel maker or a Smith, blacksmith. Allegiance and values were set by family, village or community and these were controlled by the iron fists of magician-priests.

Children have always lost their fathers to wars and there have always been wars. With the industrial revolution we disposable males were herded into factories, with a corresponding loss of influence in the lives of our children. A century later, in the mid 20th century, the 50’s and 60’s to be more precise, children lost their mothers to women’s liberation and the work place, by design. Women’s Liberation meant the Rockefellers and other old-money social engineers would ‘profit’ from the missing 50% of the labor pool and children would be forced into government certified conditioning factories with nice doublespeak names like ‘day care,’ earlier and earlier.

Themes: 
bonding
childhood
parenting

Mistaken Identity

mistaken identity

We are not what we think we are, of that I am sure. And yet, what we think we are shapes our behavior, the quality of our relationships, our values, feelings of right and wrong, justice, and compassion. The key to personal and social transformation, which as we will see, are the same thing, is ‘identity.’

A breathtaking scientist, author and friend, Howard Bloom, writes about social biology, how independent particles, molecules, simple organisms team up to form super-organisms, how they share information, act in unison, form even bigger networks or gangs called species, on and on. Zooming back these appear as continents, oceans, planets, solar systems and galaxies, all moving, changing, forever.

Where do we draw the line that separates ‘me’ from everything else? The sieve-like membrane we call skin is so full of holes it forms no boundary at all. 30% to 40% of our body weight is bacteria and other parasite-guests hitching a ride. Without these micro-beasts we would not be. Is the bacteria living inside each of us – us? If not, we are a little more than half of what we think we are.

Perhaps we are defined by our thoughts which seem to emanate from nowhere between our ears, in the black hole just behind eyes. But thoughts just don’t happen, nor do feelings. Thoughts and feelings are shadows first cast by sensations coming from out there and then bouncing around like pinballs inside, triggering feeling and thinking bells along the way. Take away out there and in here disappears too. Inner and outer give rise to each other, and I am both.

Every now and then something new appears, a fresh perception. Musing about the reciprocal nature of what we are – suddenly, after reading a particularly explosive paragraph Howard had written, there it was. What I call me, my social-cultural identity, my personal ego or image of self-inside and the outer images that make up the culture-outside are the same. Looking through different ends of a toy telescope the inner and outer appear completely different – but they are, in fact, the same process, both are images.

Right, wrong, do this, not this, good boy, bad girl, language, the names we give things are all embodied reflections of the collective super-ego we call culture. Growing up, needing to belong, we personify these collective images as a self-image, and that’s what I think I am, but am not.

Themes: 
brain
culture
freedom
imagination

Not Broken Don't Bond It

not broken

The point is maintaining relationship – not connecting something that is broken.

The terms bonding and attachment imply separation, to bond, connect, glue together separate parts. Life is relationship. We are never separate, except in our minds.

We are the light, the air, the water, the nutrients, the heat, the vibration, gravity, ever-changing movement and much more. The human body and brain is defined by the environment. Each mirrors the other. But we forget. The deeper reality and challenge is to prevent this ongoing, dynamic and reciprocal connection from being broken.

Joseph Chilton Pearce and I were exploring the root cause of our social and political calamity. Joe lamented that nature’s agenda during pregnancy, birth and the sensitive postnatal period – doesn’t happen. What could be fails to unfold. ‘Houston, we have a problem.’ See: https://ttfuture.org/files/2/members/esa_jcp_biology_culture.pdf

Themes: 
birth
bonding
childhood
play
pleasure
pregnancy

The Importance of Hugging

violence
Compassion? Wisdom?
Sorry, no one by that name lives here...

My son recently graduated from college. He could have been one of these UC Davis students. The well fed skin-head on the right is the riot clad officer hosing our children with pepper spray as they sit, Gandhi style, arm in arm, nonviolently. This act, not by students but by our friend the civil mercenary, and others like it around the world (see below), rips the thin skin of civility off our eyes. Serving and protecting, yes, but who and what? Watching his unaffected cruelty, like food poisoning, vomits up the question, How could he do such a thing?

In 1981 when a friend was nearly raped and murdered by a stalking stranger I asked the same question, Why would a man do such a thing? How can a man who supposedly loves his wife beat her so violently it caused brain damage? Or a coach, scream at an eight year old for dropping a ball? Violence is so easy, so natural. Or is it?

Themes: 
bonding
brain
culture
democracy
freedom
media
television-computers

Thanks, But for What?

thanks 2011

I must be a psycho or suffer from multiple personality disorder. Part of me gazes out, soaking in the world and can’t find anything to be thankful for. Not one thing. The other part, gentle as a lam, could walk hand in hand with St. Francis of Assisi through a forests of wild beast turned peaceful by the simple fact that we were not acting like the wacked out human beings that we are. We are the mad species and every creature, tree and blade of grass in the garden knows it. That’s why we were tossed out long ago.

Indeed, each of us is brimming with boundless innate goodness. And every one of us is carrying around a brain chock full of nonsense, calling ourselves Democrats, Republicans, all the ideologies, all the religions, nationalities, casts, races and the self-centered money-power-politics this collective madness spawns.

Our hypocrisy is so vast, so blatant. We teach our little children about the first Thanks Giving when the nice Indians helped the Pilgrims. We don’t tell them that Columbus boiled their grandparents in oil or that we, white God serving men and women, used biological warfare (smallpox) to steal these first nation people’s land and murder off their culture. We are a greedy, selfish, self-righteous lot and proud of it.

Themes: 
culture
intelligence

Science and Politics of Vaccines

the greater good


I have been aware of this important documentary for some time. Now you can view the entire film free for a short period of time.

The Greater Good "weaves together the stories of families whose lives have been forever changed by vaccination," and shows how modern medicine, especially when driven by politics and big business, can rob you of some of your most basic rights. The results of such politically- and financially-driven policies can be devastating and one movie reviewer, who saw the groundbreaking documentary, commented:

greater good veimo

 "What's being said is staggering, especially if you don't know too much about the science of, and politics behind, vaccines." - LA Weekly

You can support THE GREATER GOOD's Community Engagement Campaign by purchasing a Limited Edition DVD for only $10! Click HERE to purchase a copy to show your support!


Landmark California Law now Bypasses Parent Consent
Recall our newsletter warning that corporate government is stripping away parent informed consent rights. It was signed into law. Seventh graders can now be vaccinated without parents’ knowledge or permission.

Dr Tim O'Shea was the first to introduce me to the vaccine controversy with his book Vaccination Is Not Immunization.

Tim recently published a review of the new California Law and the MONEY, not health of our kids behind it.

Vaccine marketers scored a landmark victory in California in October 2011 when Jerry Brown fetched the stick and signed into law a new bill allowing schools to vaccinate 12 year olds without informing their parents.

Themes: 
parenting
safety
vaccinations

More on Technology in the Classroom - NOT

reading on a desk top

A friend sent a link to a New York Times article about technology in the classroom – NOT.

The chief technology officer of eBay sends his children to a nine-classroom school here. So do employees of Silicon Valley giants like Google, Apple, Yahoo and Hewlett-Packard. But the school’s chief teaching tools are anything but high-tech: pens and paper, knitting needles and, occasionally, mud. Not a computer to be found. No screens at all. They are not allowed in the classroom, and the school even frowns on their use at home.

Themes: 
childhood
creativity
education
learning

The Weaver Becomes the Web

digital brain 2

Appropriate Use of Technology in Education

The overarching insight in neuroscience the past decade is:

‘Brain and environment are one, interdependent, reciprocal dynamic process. Change the environment and you change the brain.'

The human brain created Technology that changed the environment that is now changing the brain. In the mid 1800’s Emerson, cautious of the industrial revolution, noted; the weaver becomes the web.

Themes: 
brain
childhood
creativity
education

You Are What You Eat

what you eat

We have been deeply conditioned to believe that others, the experts know what is best. We assume that the FDA is looking out for ‘our’ wellbeing and best interest. That the foods we gather from the super market are safe. It is our responsibility to be informed and make healthy decision about the quality of life we experience.

Thirty years ago I took a nutrition course from a certified chemist, pharmacist, nutritionist, three disciplines. Referring to the cereals we feed our children, Cheerios, Wheaties, CoCo Puffs, he said eating the box would be more nutritious than its contents; at least one would be getting some fiber. In the United States we pay far more for packaging at the market than what the wrapper contains.

Themes: 
childhood

The emanate loss of parent consent in the care, treatment and education of their children – and our recent newsletter…

I love social media (sometimes) because it helps us see that we are not alone and crazy. Others are as concerned as we are. What we need to do, each and every one is to pick a cause, get upset and get involved. Each of us must become pro-activists, passionate and skilled at creating nonviolently the world we know is possible, one driven not by books, religious-political propaganda and dogma, not by fear and greed, by the flowering of innate human kindness, creativity and values.

Regarding our recient newsletter:

Themes: 
culture
democracy
freedom
media
communication
television-computers

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