I Wish...

Parents and the people who care about children understood how different the child’s reality is from our, more or less, adulterated version. What does adulterated mean? Tainted, mixed, polluted, contaminated. What we call reality is filtered by experience, our ideas, beliefs and fantasies, and yet, filtered is what we see. It is our reality. Adulterated is normal and we rarely pause to consider that what is normal for us is not normal for our children. Not seeing this difference we impose our interpretation of reality on our children, often with painful consequences.

Themes: 
brain development
attunement
parenting

What Makes The Difference

What is it that makes my response to Carly Elizabeth different? Two things. First, I make sure that she knows that I see her for who she is, what is important to her this moment and what she is feeling, and second, I do my best to see that she does not feel wrong or blamed for what is happening.

Themes: 
attunement
parenting

Too much happiness?

The everyday miracles happen so fast. It’s hard to catch them. Carly is 2.4 years young and communicating with my wife and with Barbora, our au pair, mostly in Czech, and with dear old ta-ta mostly in English without one second of study or memorization. Astonishing!

Themes: 
attunement
happiness

This is the moment…

Themes: 
parenting
model imperative
attunement

Quiet Hugs

Morning and Muse often arrive together. Today their light cast long shadows across the wood floor. The house was still. Up before the others I sipped fresh coffee from a white cup. Quietly the glass door to my home-office opened. Carly’s head peeked in, her blond hair looking, as she often does in the morning, like Phyllis Diller’s. She climbed to my lap, reached and sipped a nip of coffee and rested her head on my shoulder. And there we shared a long quiet hug.

Themes: 
attachment
attunement

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