Questions & Answers
For ongoing conference details and registration information, please visit their website: www.rethinkingeverything.net
Q: When is the Rethinking Everything conference?
A: Labor Day Weekend 2010. Friday, September 3 - Tuesday, September 7.
5 full days of outrageous bliss.
Q: I've never been to this conference before. What can I expect?
A: Expect nurturing support for the creation of respectful, exuberant, freedom and responsibility filled lifestyles for everyone in your family. The 5 conference days are overflowing with multiple options at all times, from early morning to late night. Expect to be loved and challenged - expect shifts in the way you believe the world works. Expect to take full responsibility for yourself and your children/teens. Expect to prepare for the conference with meaty conversations with your family on the meanings of freedom, respect and responsibility for both oneself and others.
Q: What is the conference like for kids?
A: For 14 years kids have been telling us that the RE conference is more fun than Disney World and that look more forward to it than Christmas! Demonstrably, kids are in their element at RE, with ongoing options for art, games, play, socializing, dance and movement and lots of other stuff. We have a ropes course this year for the first time and a group-wide dance with a Beatles tribute band. We will also offer a special dance just for little kids this year! Be sure to look at our Action Portion of the Program for developing details on all th offerings.
Q: What is the conference like for teens and young adults?
A: Hundreds of teens and young adults return and many new come every year as word has gotten out that RE is a blast for fun, socializing, and Rethinking ways of moving into the adult world. As a teen, you must attend with at least one parent or another family who is willing to accept responsibility for your well-being.
Unschooling fundamentally is driven by a profound trust
in the human capacity to be curious.
The challenge we face, and it's a difficult one, is finding a way to
extend this trust outwards beyond the home and into the public sphere
where it is so desperately needed.
Astra Taylor
Q: How do the children and teens get along at RE?
A: Teens and kids of all ages cohabit like magic at RE and why wouldn't they? They are all in their element, having fun, being stimulated by new friendships, like-minded interests and freedom to explore the world on their own terms.
Q: What are the arrangements for food?
A: The AATC has a wonderful Food Court which will offer a huge range of food from morning 'til night. The food pricing is by far the best we have seen in the history of RE and the quality and selection are family friendly and delicious. You can purchase just one item or an entire meal. From salad bar, soup and baked potato bar, deli, hamburgers, pasta, pizza, hot entree and veggies, mexican and asian options... and frozen yogurt and desserts too. See theHotel Page of this site for more details on the food offered.
Q: Will there be vegetarian/vegan/raw options ?
A: The AATC will have all three options for us all weekend, with organic veggies!
Q: Can I bring my own food and alcohol?
A: Yes! You may bring whatever food or alcohol you like. The only restriction is that your own food and drink must be kept and consumed in your own overnight room and not in the public space of the AATC.
Q: If I approve of my own underaged teen drinking alcohol, is this allowed?
A: No one at this conference, including the AATC, has the authority to dictate the parenting style of any given parent. As a parent, you are responsible for establishing effective communication with your teen or underaged young adult with regard to their use of alcohol. As above, the AATC prohibits the consumption of any outside beverage or food outside of your overnight room. Their tavern welcomes all but will only serve alcohol to those 21 years old and above, of course. The AATC will have full authority to get the police involved if anyone on their property is using illegal drugs or if underaged young people are drinking alcohol in the public spaces, including the outdoor areas.
As far as RE is concerned, we ask that if you bring alcohol onto AATC premises, you limit consumption to those in your immediate, registered family as per your own discretion and what is comfortable and responsible for your family. DO NOT allow other teens to consume your alcohol as this compounds what could be a serious liability issue.
Q: Do I have to stay at the hotel in order to attend?
A: Absolutely not. The majority of folks attending do however, just because it's so much fun! Kids love it, of course. Staying in the hotel gives you maximum freedom for taking quiet moments whenever you or the kids need it. It also gives everyone the freedom to stay up late and enjoy all the new friends and cool stuff to do. Room rates are $98 per night and for families wanting 2 rooms, the second room is just $25 per night!
We will be the only group at the AATC during RE. It is not possible to spend the night there without being registered for the conference.
Q: Can I attend if we are not unschooling yet?
A: Of course. Many families who have fun and respectful relationships with their kids and teens and want to check out all the hoopla associated with a freedom-based lifestyle will want to attend. Come prepared for big shifts and tremendous growth!
Don’t do anything if there’s not joy in it, a sense of exhilaration.
A day is a day, and each one is going bye-bye, and you’ve only got so many more in front of you. Friendship is probably one of the most important things in life.
Apart from your immediate family, it’s about friends - the ability to make friends,
the ability to forgive friends. And their ability to forgive you.
Then you’ve got it all, man. The rest is gravy.
Keith Richardson, Rolling Stones
Q: Is there any childcare available?
A: Yes, we have the wonderful and popular Kid Village which is open every day. KV is fully supervised by playful, responsible, and supportive adults. You denote on your young child's (age 1-6 years) nametag whether you wish to be present should your child want to leave KV or if they may come and go freely of their own accord. We are almost famous for our respectful treatment of our wee ones. If your young child is in KV and asks for you or is otherwise distressed for any reason, we will call you on your cell phone. You will be asked to come to KV right away to soothe him. Most kids come and go all day and night. Some kids never want to leave.
The magical Joy Smith will return this year to oversee Kid Village. If your kids have not yet experienced the fun and wonder of Joy, they have much to look forward to. If they are "old-timers," they will surely be excited to hear she is back!
All kids of all ages are welcome this year but ALL will be asked to play in accordance with the youngest kids aged 1 - 6. In other words, no wild play or rough-housing. Fortunately there is plenty of other space at RE for that!
Q: Can my kids leave Kid Village?
A: For kids aged 1-6, you as their parent have the authority regarding whether they will be able to leave Kid Village on their own. For kids aged 7 and over, ALL will be considered "free-range," meaning that they will be able to come and go as they wish. If you are uncomfortable with this, you will need to establish strategies with your child(ren) so that you all can find each other and feel safe. Here are some tried and true ideas:
- show your kids where you will be so they can find you
- let your kids know they can come to RE Registration at any time and ask for help in finding you
- consider limiting their activities to the general space of our group's gathering and not the entire 30 acres of the AATC
- give your children cell phones or walkie talkies for the weekend and talk to them ahead of time about the importance of answering them when you call : )
- arrive a bit early to the AATC and take some time to thoroughly explore the space, talking to each other about what's comfortable and how you will be able to find each other at any time of day or night
- give them free reign over the entire space, talking with them ahead of time about the importance of not using the pool without an adult present or leaving the AATC under any circumstances without you.
Q: Do we have to stay the entire 5 days?
A: No, you can attend for as much of the conference as you wish. The one-day price per person is $60.
Q: Do we have to decide ahead of time what sessions we will attend?
A: No. You can decide at the last minute nd even change your mind in the middle of a session.
Q: We are homeschoolers, but not unschoolers. Is this conference for us too?
A: You are more than welcome to attend if you are open to fun, respectful, and empowering ways to be with children. If your style is oriented to authoritative discipline, you probably won't be comfortable. Just because your child is following a curriculum (her choice) or even in school (again, her choice) does not mean you won't love RE and find yourself feeling "at home" there. Read the RE program. You will know if if it feels wonderful and exciting. RE is not dogmatic - there is no "recipe" for how to live with children in fun and respectful and empowering ways.
Q: My spouse/partner is reluctant to attend. How can I encourage him/her to come?
A: As much as we don't believe in using coercion to motivate anyone of any age, we do, oddly enough, support the dragging of a reluctant partner or spouse, especially if that person has a day-to-day relationship with your children. One of the most exciting occurrences at RE is watching the evolution of a reluctant, skeptical parent become open, joyful and eager for more as they observe and immerse themself in activities with their children, discussions with other parents and find a plethora of opportunities to ask the questions that concern them.
Q: How will I know my kids are safe if I am not with them all the time?
A: The most important way to achieve this is to establish open and trusting communication with them, such that they want you to know where they are and what their plans are. Arrange meet-up times if your kids know how to tell time, get walkie-talkies for them or cell phones. Consider inviting a grandparent or other trusted friend or relative or babysitter whose role will be to spend the weekend with your kids so you can fully immerse yourself in all of the self-chosen sessions you desire. Kid Village offers supervised care for your 1-6 year olds.
While all sessions and activities are facilitated by at least one responsible person, your child or teen will never be required to remain in a session or activity if he prefers to do something else, no matter what age they are. Aside from the supervised safety of Kid Village for kids aged 1-6, you are responsible for the whereabouts and well-being of your child(ren) at all times.
If you want your children to be generous,
you must first allow them to be selfish.
If you want them to be disciplined,
you must first allow them to be spontaneous.
If you want them to be hard-working,
You must first allow them to be lazy.
This is a subtle distinction,
and hard to explain to those who criticize you.
A quality cannot be fully learned
without understanding its opposite.
William Martin
Q: What is the conference like for adults?
A: The most important person in your family that should attend the conference is you. If you cannot afford to bring your family, attend alone or with another adult friend to share expenses. You will be able to immerse yourself, expand and grow in ways you never imagined, giving you renewed enthusiasm and myriad new tools to take home and share with your family.
Every hour of every day at RE is filled with multiple options for intelligent discussion and thoughtful examination of the components that make up a self-designed, empowered and freedom-filled life. In addition, you will have many options for yoga, dance, art and music to round out your electric experience at RE.
Q: What about transportation to and from the airport?
A: The AATC offers complimentary transportation to and from DFW Airport.
Q: What about transportation around the area?
A: The AATC offers complimentary transportation to and from locations in the area such as restaurants, movie theaters and shopping within a few mile radius, including transportation to and from the TRE Train Station which accesses the downtown areas of both Dallas and Ft. Worth. http://www.trinityrailwayexpress.org.
Q: My son who will be 12 is interested to know if there will be kids around his age and a little older – or will be it just be lots of younger kids and teens?
A: There are hundreds of kids and teens and young adults of all ages at RE every year.
Q: Are kids free to go to the pool or other hotel locations without an attending adult?
A: All kids of all ages will have the freedom to use all of the hotel facilities on their own terms, provided they do so respectfully of both others and the AATC property. This includes the pool and hot tub, sand volleyball, shuffle board, tennis, basketball, outdoor exploration, Cyber Cafe, game room with pool tables, ping pong, Wii and pin ball machines.
The AATC requires that an adult be present at the pool whenever children are using it. You must take the responsibility for communicating this with your child and, when they do wish to use the pool, you are either with them or have chosen a designated adult to oversee their swimming. Kids aged 12 and over may swim without an adult present.
We have received very special permission this year to have the pool, game room and all other AATC activities open 24/7. The only way this can work for all of us as a group is if each parent takes full responsibility for knowing where their kids and teens are, what they are doing and ensuring that their actions are respectful of themselves, all others and the AATC property. Do not come to RE expecting someone else to take the responsibility for this.
Q: Can my kids come to sessions? Or come get me during sessions?
A: Your children are welcome in all adult-oriented sessions. We expect them to come in and out as they wish. You are encouraged to have your nursing baby or young toddler with you as well. Feel free to bring toys or blankets for them. You may choose to find a place on the floor in any meeting room to lay with your child or play quietly with them. We ask that, should your child become noisy - whether happy or upset, that you leave the room with them and return when they are quiet.
Q: Will my kids need money if they're not with me? (for food, games, etc.)
A: Kids can purchase food and drink in the Food Court on their own all weekend. You can either purchase vouchers for them to use as payment or they can sign the food charge to their room or they can use cash. The games in the AATC game room, with the exception of Wii which is free, have nominal charges to play them and they will need quarters for that. All other activities at the conference are included in the cost of registration and no additional charges will incur for anything with the one exception being the ROPES course which requires advance registration.
Q: What should we bring?
A: Sweater or jacket for chilly meeting rooms, swim suits, clothes for hot weather, lap tops (there is complimentary WiFi throughout the AATC), good energy, openness to fresh ways of thinking and being in the world, high expectations for yourself and your unique experience.
Q: Are pets allowed?
A: No pets of any kind are allowed at the AATC.
Q: How should we prepare our family for RE?
A: Talk about the flow of 5 full days of big space, gobs of fun stuff to do and think about, new friends, connecting with kindred spirits from far and wide. Strategize together on how you will decide what to do when, how you will connect with each other, plan meal and snack times, bed times. Impress upon each person attending how critical it will be at RE to be FULLY RESPONSIBLE for oneself and each other. We encourage your expressions of free-to-be at RE, and with this freedom comes responsibility. Be certain your children and teens understand this.
RE has established an online discussion group to dissect and clarify the meanings of freedom and responsibility. Please join the list, check out the archives, and ask your questions or help others answer theirs. No question is off limits. Click here to join the discussion group.
The more children are trusted, the more they trust in themselves.
Matthew Appleton
Q: How has RE changed since becoming Rethinking Everything? Is this still an unschooling conference?
A: Rethinking Education has always been rethinking everything. The name has been changed to reflect the all-encompassing brilliance that is reflected in the diverse sessions, personal growth, and supportive relationships that have always been found here. The focus is on the creation of joyful and empowered environments in which to be with children and share rich, diverse, respectful and intelligent relationships with them.
Q: Is coming to RE a good way for grandparents to be introduced to unschooling?
A: Many grandparents attend RE, some of whom are fully supportive and others who are in various stages of being uncomfortable and/or resistant. RE offers facilitated discussion groups just for grandparents and most will find ample opportunities all weekend to ask questions of concern in the myriad sessions they have to choose from. Many grandparents attend just to spend quality time with their grandchildren and others are there to jump in and learn as much as they can about everything offered.
Q: Can we camp/RV on premises?
A: There is RV parking available but no camping is permitted.
Q: Is there a curfew for kids and teens?
A: There is no curfew for anyone of any age at RE. It is most important that family members have established open lines of communication with each other so that they all know how and where to find each other. It is equally important that parents know what their kids and teens are doing at all times of day or night and that their actions are respectful of self, others and property. If, as a parent, you are unsure about how your child or teen will handle themself in the space of freedom-to-be, be sure to either bring a dedicated overseer to the conference with you or leave the child or teen at home and attend alone or with other adults to learn as much as you can about how to establish communication that ensures both freedom and responsibility at all times.
Q: This is a common question from my relatives and non-unschooling friends: "Barb, your kids are all grown and you're not even unschooling anymore. Why do you keep doing this conference?"
A: In my decades of rethinking everything, welcoming change and creating a haven for freedom and self-design for my children, I have come to believe that there is nothing more important or worthwhile than the unconditional nurturing of children. If we can face our psychological baggage, let go of all we have been conditioned to believe is true about how the world works, and move toward trusting the drive present in each of us, no matter what age, that guides us to a fully alive, fully engaged state of being, then we are powerfully transforming not only ourselves but those we love and, in fact, that great big world out there - which is desperately in need of fresh ideas from those who have grown up under the life-sustaining umbrella of free-to-be, unconditional love and support.
Well, besides that, my three grown children still consider their participation in the conference as one of the highlights of their year and wouldn't miss it, no matter how far they have to travel to get there!
The best years of your life
are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.
You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president.
You realize that you control your own destiny.
Albert Ellis
